When I was still a child,  human years of course,  I recall the day my Husband’s father, the Tribe’s High Elder came to my mother.   Mother was flustered,  Nephew was sick with a fever,  High Elder offered my mother a high place in the tribe.  She would sit beside his wife.  A seat reserved visiting Elder’s from the neighboring tribes.  Mother was uncertain,  she thought High Elder wanted my as his second wife,  our people only had one mate.   He was to come for several days with gifts and fruits as a bride price.  I was charming,  on my very best behavior,  I never raised my eyes to meet his.  I made he and his first wife gifts,  clothing, jewelry of seeds.  When he brought his eldest son,  I was shocked.  I remained the obedient daughter,  but turned my gifts onto the Elder’s son.  I made him Moccasins,  he never wore them,  I made intricate bead jewelry for him to wear around his neck.  He threw them to the birds.  I made meals for him of the meats and vegetables brought as a bride price,  and he scorned me.  I never met his eye,  but always heard his sneers.   

   When High Elder married us,  my husband would not look at me,  he certainly would not touch me. I was 13 years old,  the women in the tribe chastised me,  telling me that if I did not bear a son I would be cast out.  I went to High Elder and pleaded with him,  I was quickly his favorite daughter,  he would never have done a thing to hurt me.   When husband still refused me,  high elder sent him away with the hunting group.  When husband was not away he would not have the meat he hunted himself.  He would send me to find fish,  and roots,  or whatever red meat I could catch on my own.  I became stong,  and proud. But High Elder grew furious with my husband,  he noticed that my skin was darkened from the sun,  my hands and feet were callused.  He threatened to take me away and make me his second wife,  as first wife was growing older and could no longer bear children.   I learned then,  that the solitude makes one strong,  but company can hurt you.  Whenever High Elder scorned my husband he would return to me angrily.  He would throw the food to the ground,  toss the bowls at my face,  then trap me indoors for a week while my face and body healed.   My hunting made me strong.  I could easily take what he dished out,  but even when my skin no longer darkened where he hit me,  he still would lock me away.  I never could forget these fears. 

   When I was turned and the world changed.  The only lives I managed to spare in that village were the lives of my blood family and the High Elder and his wife.   I always remembered that they had loved me,  or perhaps I had just charmed them beyond the norm.   Being that my human memories are exceptionally strong, and never faded,  I remember longing for the company of the high elder,  dreading my husband. 

   Now I feel I am the same still.  rarely changing.  I long for the company of those who would love me,  my sisters,  my old friends,  and even some new friends.  However I am still wary and prone to excusing myself for long periods of time,  just to give people… a break,  I suppose you could call it that.   For even after 271 years of being, and 257 years of this life,  I still cannot help but worry over who will come home to me angry.  

∆Senna∆

  My stay here has been both eventful and uneventful.  Parties, and drama galore.  Not to mention me running away for a day or so.  I’ve made friends of the unlikeliest persuasion.  And barely spoke to those of my own persuasion.  I find myself deeply in debt to the Clearwater family.  Sue, Leah, and Seth,  thank you so much for your warmth and kindness.  Embry Call,  thanks for the fun and games.  To the Cullens,  thank you as well.  Particularly Esme, Alice, and Edward, And Carlisle (though we hardly had the opportunity to speak between broken werewolves, and your poor sick son.)

  And Particularly to Scarlett and Eleanor, I thank you for letting me stay with you,  even when my lapse of mind made me a very difficult guest to deal with.   

  I also seem to owe thanks to Jacob Black and Sam Uley.  I’m very sorry if my stay caused any unnecessary problems,  I still thank you for allowing me the time to stay in town.  Though I have to express warnings that I may return to your Peninsula,  no closer than Quilcene,  and that stay might NOT be temporary.  I seem to have fallen in love with that tiny 217 person population.  I’d be encouraged to try the path I’m enthusiastically unenthusiastic about attempting.  The less than natural diet doesn’t appeal to my logical mind.  But for Quilcene I’d do anything.

   Well seems like there’s a new Itinerary that needs to be placed out before us.

    Friday 5/8/09  I’ll be in Denali,  hopefully I can get an answer or two form Eleazar about my inexplicable ability to make people like me.

   Saturday 5/9/09 8:00pm I’ll be putting myself through hell by getting on a plane.  I spent more money than I needed to,  these new Cocoons on the planes seem to be a good idea.  

 Sunday/Monday (in Ireland) I’ll be meeting up with Maggie for a week or so.  I can only hope we’ll have as much fun together as we do giggling over random nonsense and bad puns.

 Friday 5/16 Midnight – Another flight this time to Italy.  I do have a few worries about this trip,  but I need to see my Bess.

  From there I’ve no idea what will happen.  I can only pray I’ll run into one of my sisters during my travels.  I also hope I’ll keep my head around Felix,  it seems he’s done the one thing that could make me hate him… passionately.   Don’t mess with the people I love,  and you’ll keep all your appendages in gear.

  The side trip in Vegas has two maps.  The first was to blow enough money that the various banks across the world that my sisters and I have put our accumulated money,  would be less than concerned about the accounts’ lack of use.  The second was of course to show up mister “fearless” magician.  It makes me chuckle to think that all it took to get him all jumpy was one little growl.

  Hunting is Vegas, while easy, is far from fun,  you’re stuck with one of two flavors,  drunk, or diseased.  Not the healthiest of meals, if you catch my meaning.  I knew I had to feed enough to keep full until I leave Washington,  I just couldn’t bear the thought of eating too much around there.  It became obvious as the sun began to set, that I needed desperately to stop in Portland to hunt.    So I did.

  The weather was conducive enough once I reached the pit of a city.  Something about Portland has always seemed so black and white.  Like a photograph,  just not… real,  I’ve never cared for it.   I meandered the streets for a few hours sniffing here and there for something small and appealing.  

  Suddenly I was accosted by a smell so delicious, I felt as if I had walked right into a fire.  I followed the scent down a winding road,  behind some buildings, and back out onto the road.  I began to notice the light changing,  the clouds were shifting.  I kept tabs on the direction of the scent, but everything began to fade after a few hours.  

Once the sun had once again been absconded by the clouds I continued my hunt,  the aroma wafted at me, less potent than it had been from down a suburban housing tract,  I followed until it was gone.  The human vanished.  I assumed he has just jumped into a friend’s car.  I wonder why he took such a circuitous path,  then all my wondering thoughts abruptly turned to an anger, the likes of which I don’t think I’ve ever felt in my entire existence!  I growled for a running 5 minutes before I even took a breath to access my next move.  My prey was gone but I couldn’t simply give up!  I promised Jacob that I would not hunt at all while I was in the state of Washington.  I keep my promises.

   Angrily I walked down the streets, not finding any one scent preferential after all of that.  I knew I just had to buckle down and pick someone.  I walked down a long dark alley,  pausing only momentarily to glance at the name of a skeezy bar.  ”BoozeHoundz”  Not very original.  I walked to the main street and spotted a young man,  maybe 23 or 24 years old.  Of course he was oggling at me.   I figured he was better than nothing.  I think I was quite… “smoothe”

 ”Excuse me,  my brother is at some bar around here,  I simply cannot find it,  could you help my find the BoozeHoundz Bar?”  And of course he was only too willing to help.  He led me down the dark alley,  the wrong, dark alley mind you.   It could not have been more perfect.   I’ll admit I felt bad,  he was so kind, asking me where I was from,  what I was doing in Portland,  just being a nice guy.  But a girl’s gotta eat.   And so I did. 

 I only post this so Jacob and Sam will believe that I’m fed well enough to keep the peace as I promised.  I know if might disgust them and they won’t look at me as they saw me before.  But even I have to survive somehow.

∆Senna∆

   Bu the time I made it to the hotel there was only one room, well suite left.  $300 a night. *shrugs* not that big of a deal for one who has been around as long as I.  I sat for a while,  undated on twitter for a bit,  until the crappy wireless network in the hotel crapped out on me.   So I decided to take $200 and get change to play quarter slots.  The funny thing about the Luxor Casino is,  there are no windows in the games rooms.  So I had no idea how long I bounced from machine to machine.  I do however know that by the time I asked a cocktail waitress for the time… it was almost noon,  and I then has $762 in quarters.  I gathered myself and made my way to the Atrium and noticed that I was in trouble,  the sunlight was streaming everywhere from the simple front windows.  I figured out how long it would take for the light to move, and how I could move inconspicuously around it.   So at about 1:40pm I had finally made my way past a large group of people waiting outside the Mindfreak store,  and there was the mindfreak himself.  I had already had the idea in my head to show him what fear was.   Oddly enough,  all it took was one little growl to put the fear in his face.  I shouldn’t be so entertained by this,  but you know for a guy who is willing enough to drown himself, and set himself on fire, he shouldn’t be so terrified by the fact that someone is growling most menacingly at him.  Oh well.  So it’s a quarter past 4 I wanted to watch a movie,  but I doubt anything is worth $6.99 for one view.  

  Short blog today,  I’m going to hunt tonight,  one tonight, one tomorrow night,  then I should be set to head to Washington safely.  It would be a shame were I to break my promise to Jacob…

∆Senna∆

   I passed by a large mall type place,  a kind of Strip Mall I think it’s called?  And spotted a Barnes & Noble book shop.  You know 120 years ago book shops were smaller than your average McDonalds joint,  only three copies of any one book were kept on the shelf at any given time, and only 10 books of one name were ever stocked in the shop period.   In those days,  a new book was such blessing,  of course this was before the age of television,  and internet, and cell phones,  books and  art, and sewing were the norm,  particularly for women.  I can’t imagine the Human women were exactly thrilled with their lives.  So yes, a trip to a book shop was always the high point of the time.  And now,  you can find anything,  anywhere,  somehow the mystery is gone.  You’re told to read a book, you buy it, read it, that’s the end of it.

 I miss walking into a shop looking around settling on a book by some random author, and fully enjoying a story that I have no prior knowledge of.  Those were the days…  But now there are coffee shops, and pastry carts in every book shop,  there’s a corner to buy music and movies,  the magic and wonder of books have all but been forgotten.  In memory of simpler times,  today I picked up a random book which I will read when I get to the hotel in Vegas.

   Today is Friday,  but it feels strangely like a Monday.  No matter how many times I have told myself that it is friday,  my mind is scrambling for a way to catch an all new Episode of HOUSE.  So tell me,  how does one, to whom time is of little consequence, get back on track?  My itinerary will be voided if I miss a day, and I will be thrown for a loop,  I like everything planned out perfectly.  So I need you,  my friends, family, and readers,  to help me find my bearings and get back into the swing of things.

∆Senna∆

   I’ve only known that some of us have “abilities”  since I met Zaf.  But I never once thought that I could possibly have any unique ability to myself,  It was pointed out to me when I started “playing” with the internet.  I have a way with words.  That’s all I could assume.  Until someone told me that I’ve befriended dangerous predators,  and people who have no qualms expressing their hatred of others like myself. 

  I was barely out of the Newborn phase when Morgan picked me up.  She should have been wary of my unstable age.   Then again with Zafrina when I found her in the forest completely absorbed in what she was doing,  she should have acted defensively.  Many others I’ve met as well have never regarded me warily.   Morgan put it in my head that maybe I did have a unique capability.  I’m sure it’s just enthusiasm,  and distaste of conflict.   Despite my certainties,  I feel that before I go to Vancouver,  I will have to stop to visit the Denali family and ask Eleazar to take a look at me,  to figure out if the wild theories placed in my mind might have some basis in truth.

   Itinerary:  Friday 4-24 @ 4:30 AM — Leave Morgan’s and head toward California.  (I don’t really have plans to stop in California for anything more than a quick hunt – I do no care for the state nor those who live there.)

  Sunday 4.26 @ 5:00 AM — Leave California and head to Nevada.  I want to stay at the Luxor,  show that magician fellow Criss Angel how scary a person can look without trying. *grins evilly* It’s also a fruitful place to hunt.

 Tuesday 4-28 @ 5:30 — Start driving toward Washington,  Call Scarlett to let her know I’ll be in town for a few days BEFORE arriving.  All permissions for passing through the Peninsula to be acquired before I even enter the state of Washington [I promise])

 Wednesday 4.29 @ Noon — Visit with the Cullens,  hopefully.  If they are not agreeable for company hopefully I can visit with Carlise to attain direction to visit the Denali Family.

 Friday 5-1 @ 8:00 AM — Leave WA for Denali,  hopefully I can get in contact with Kate about a short visit to chat with Eleazar about the impossible theories,  hopefully get a hunt in OUTSIDE of the Denali’s Immediate area.

    Should the stops prove fruitful,  and I still have no word from either of my sisters,  perhaps I will look into Real Estate in Vancouver.   Depending how that goes,  and how the rest of the trip goes.  I might,  MIGHT make the attempt at a little international travel.  I do feel the need to go visit my dear Renata,  exchange pleasantries with the ancients.  And willing their position,  a shopping trip with Siobhan,  and Maggie — where ever they find themselves at that time. 

    So wish me luck,  it’s looking like a rather long week,  with every possible likelihood of a distasteful outcome.

∆πSennaπ∆

 However is is this,  these oddly clear memories and thoughts,  that keep me… grounded you could say.  Compassionate even, despite my choice in diet.

  In 1730 soldiers came to my families villiage,  the Maizona tribe was a peaceful tribe, we had no need for warriors.  The soldiers who came to us demanded that we leave our fruitful land and give it to them.  My uncle, who was the village’s high elder turned them away.  They slaughtered all the elders, and many of the families,  my father raced to my mother and I, our friends were with is,  he took older brother and told the women to run into the forest to hide.  And we did.  I was only 2 suns.  All who remained in the village were decimated, my father and uncle, and brother included.  So together,  my uncle’s wife and two daughters, my brother’s child wife, and infant son,  braved the wilds and survived.   My cousins and I grew strong,  while older brother’s child wife weakened caring for her baby, and mourning her husband.   When I was 13 suns,  my mother, and uncle’s wife took myself, and my cousins to a neighboring village,  far away from our own.  Brother’s wife had died, and my Nephew, only 11 suns,  was brave and strong as his father had been at twice his age.  The village took cousins and I,  as a price for mother, aunt, and nephew to live there.  I was married to the son of this villages high elder.  My husband was cruel and did not care for me as his father seemed to.  High Elder thought I was the most beautiful child bride, and he doted upon me.  But my husband sent me out to the river alone,  to clean and hunt for food.

  A particularly warm day when I was 24 suns,  my cousins each had 2 children,  my nephew had wed to High Elder’s daughter,  I felt glad my husband despised me,  my cousins children were loud, their husbands yelled at them and made them cry.  But I was free,  I had no children and I was still made to leave the village alone.  This last day was no exception,  I went to the river and splashed cold water over me, thinking I should take some for my cousins children,  to cool, and calm them.  I went about hunting when I heard the hushed voices of two men.  When I saw them I recognized their garments,  they were the soldiers from across the sea,  the same men who had killed everyone in my village.  I tried to sneak away,  but the men had heard me,  they had learned to speak our language and asked me about my NEW village,  how many people there were.  The men had eyes that looked as red as the wild flowers the grew where the sun shined in the forest.  Their skin was whiter than the white sands of the shoreline near my old village.  They had dark circles under their eyes that made them look sunken,  but they were very handsome,  handsomer than my husband,  than my nephew.  They smiled,  but I new they did not mean any friendliness toward me.  I spoke quickly trying to make them understand,  one took pity on my story, he had kept a foot behind his comrade the entire time.  but the first glared,  without warning he pounced on me,  like a cat,  he bit my shoulder.  The second soldier,  the kinder of the two pounced his friend in turn, tearing away from me.  I know now it was the smell of my blood that had thrown him into such a frenzy,  they fought amongst themselves and I,  though in incredible pain,  I ran as fast as I could before I fell and rolled under a felled tree.  The two soldiers did not look for me,  and I lay there,  whimpering, begging the gods for death.  I felt as if I had been thrown on a fire that only grew hotter as time passed…  until it was gone all together.  Until I was gone.  

  I had never felt so free, so strong,  even the hot air did not bother me, though I knew how hot it was.  I could see farther,  hear better,  I could even smell things that I had never smelled before.  I knew I had been away from the village for too long,  I consciously knew that my husband would be very angry.  I hunted until I came across a panther about as big as I was,  something in me threw myself at the large cat,  tackling him to the ground,  choking off his air with my own hands until he was dead.  I was strong,  I was fast.  The large animal was sure to please my husband.  I made my way to the village and smelled a new smell,  very different from the cat.   All pretense was lost,  I dropped my previous prey and began killing my own tribe members… feeding.

  When I saw my nephews face as he held his child bride behind him, protecting her I felt a surge of remorse and ran away.   I ran all the way to the old village on the shore,  and knowing my strength,  feeding my anger and hatred of the men who killed my family,  I slaughtered and fed upon all the soldiers from across the sea.  I reclaimed my village,  but in the most horrible way.  I stayed there for a year,  occasionally running to other villages, far away from my family’s to steal away a human upon which I fed.  I learned to control my thoughts,  and my thirst, and myself.  So when Nephew came to find the old village empty,  I was able to leave.  I jumped into the water and swam.  

  I had wandered alone,  mostly letting myself starve for three years.  I avoided the humans at all costs.  I found myself confronted with a smell that was not animal, nor human.  But I didn’t not have to search for it.  It came to me.  She was a beautiful woman,  her hair was cropped short,  but rich in color,  her pale skin shined as she stepped quickly through a patch of sunlight,  a bright smile on her face.

  ”So it’s you.”  was all she said before launching into an explanation of herself.  Her name was Morgan,  and she, was like me.  Alone, and never changing,  she too fed upon the blood of humans.  She could tell from my eyes that I had not allowed myself to feed.  It made her sad,  she told me everything about what we were and how we lived.  She asked me questions pertaining to the soldier that had bitten my shoulder,  nodding all the while.     Then she did something I did not expect,  she invited me to travel with her.  I was wary of her,  but I felt I could trust her,  and she clearly felt she could trust me.  We traveled the into what is now Texas,  there was a town that was surrounded by a darker forest than mine,  and she felt so pleased that she worked to build a house.   I stayed with her for a time but found the dark forest to be unhappy,  so I bid my friend farewell and travelled back to my rainforest.  I lived alone,  hiding in the trees until I smelled another smell,  like Morgan’s and my own.  Another one,  like us.  I made my way to her and found her with colored oils,  painting on the bark of a tree,  the most stunning landscape I had ever seen. 

  She was called Zafrina,  she had been like me much longer than even Morgan had been.  But she took me under her wing,  she cared for me,  and I loved her dearly,  she reminded me of of brother’s Child Wife,  talkative and vibrant.  It concerned her that I had never been called anything but Daughter, and sister, and cousin and wife.   She called me Senna of Maizona,  over time I became Senna Mazoni,  I didn’t feed often,  but we kept to a regular schedule,  twice a month.  There was a day that I came across a young woman,  she was human, but she reminded me of myself when I had first married,  she was sad and alone,  cleaning and hunting by herself.   I felt compassion remembering what it was like for me.  I returned everyday to watch her,  to keep her safe in case those soldiers still stalked the area.  But it wasn’t the soldiers that posed the danger.   A large panther,  bigger than the one I had attacked that first day prowled after her,  when he attacked her,  I in retrospect attacked him tearing him away and choking the life out of him.  But the poor human lay there mangled and bleeding to death,  I was so saddened that I took her broken, but alive body to Zafrina.  Together we saved her,  by changing her,  making her like us.  She, like myself had been glad for a reason to leave her husband.  Her name was Kachiri,  and she became our third sister.  We were never apart,  happy in each other’s company.   

   Much time has passed since then,  and recently Kachiri has found her mate,  a young one called Josh.  They left our home together to see the world,  Josh had her easily convinced it seemed.  But I am glad she has found love.  Zafrina too has taken a trip away from our home.  And here I am,  having done traveling before life with my sisters,  I look back on it as a time spent only to pass.  Having my family with me gave me no more desire to leave home, than be without them.   But alone,  I’m finding myself longing for something to do, somewhere to be.    

  So now… I travel.